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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Women get their turn

Well, I guess there are a few women after all who have complaints about men.
As promised a few weeks ago I am giving the fairer sex a chance to respond to what some claim is my slanted point of view on the genders.
Personally, I think most of them really had to dig down deep to find anything at all negative to say about “their man” or even “males in general.”
So what really does bug women the most about men?
The biggest complaint seems to be that they just don’t listen when someone of the female persuasion is talking.
Maybe that’s because women always seem to insist on having a “meaningful conversation” at the most inopportune times.
It never fails. Just when you sit down to relax after a hard day at work and begin reading the newspaper or watching the Big Game (remember any sporting event on TV is a Big Game), it starts.
Face it, unless it’s something like, “The oven is broken so dinner will be a little late,” or “You got a notice in the mail saying your Sports Illustrated subscription will run out in February (just before the Swimsuit edition comes out),” it’s just not important enough to interrupt our “chill-out time.”
We don’t want to hear about trivial stuff, talk about “our day” or think about putting money away for little Mary’s college education. Heck, she’s only 17, after all.
Those women who claim they “know all about men” should certainly understand that and show some compassion rather than complain about being ignored.
Communication, or lack thereof, was by far the biggest gripe females had about men. But there were a few others such as:
They’re too proud to ask for directions.
• Men never relay telephone messages.
• They don’t mind spending money on “toys” like snowmobiles, boats or another hunting rifle, but they never have any cash when it’s time to replace the washer, dryer or microwave.
• Males are “hogs.” They don’t pick up their soiled clothes, take care of their dirty dishes and they “can’t hit the toilet.”
• Men can never admit when they are wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault.
• They don’t want romance, just sex.
• Men whine when they catch a little cold but women are expected to “get off our death bed” to make them supper, clean the house or wash their clothes.
• After they are married, males would rather drink beer, go hunting or watch a football game with their buddies instead of spending “quality time” with their wife.
There were a few others but as you can see for yourself these are pretty petty beefs, the types of things men usually just put up with as part of a “normal relationship.”
Because I promised to devote this space to women’s complaints I won’t try to refute each and every one even though it would be easy to do. In fact I will even publish this list I received of the “10 Things Men Will Never Say.”
• Let’s watch Lifetime.
• Sex is overrated.
• I don’t want to go too far on the first date.
• Yes, I did notice your sister was prettier than you.
• There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
• My hips are too big.
• Aw, can’t we watch Oprah?
• Does this suit make me look fat?
• Let’s go to the ballet instead of the hockey game.
• I can’t tonight. I have a headache.
See, real men can take a joke. Like this one about Adam talking to God.
“God, why did you make Eve so beautiful,” Adam asked.
“So you would love her,” God said.
“But why did you make her so dumb? Adam wanted to know.
“So she will love you,” God explained.
I’ll even let the ladies have the last word with this one regarding “role reversal.”
“Should we try a new position tonight honey,” the husband asked.
“Sure,” the wife said. “You stand by the oven and I’ll sit in the recliner, drink beer, watch TV and belch.”
There you have it. Now I expect all those women out there to be singing my praises and telling their friends what a fair and wonderful guy I really am.
Yeah, right!
Greg Nelson is a Morning Sun staff writer. He can be reached at or by calling 989-463-6071, ext. 15.


Anonymous Kyle S said...

Greg, that has to be the best column I have seen from you in a long time :)

4:32 PM 

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